Days 3-5

Take a deep breath. Stop staring at boxes and open one. Get on the floor and hug Stella instead of ignoring her questions. Eat something before you pass out. Where is the box with the knives in it? I can't find the cups. 1 box down, 50 to go...

This is the flow of thoughts that have been littering my mind the past three days. A friend told us at dinner the other day that research has been done on some of the biggest stresses that a human can experience. They named #1 Death, #2 Divorce, and #3 Moving. I'm beginning to agree. I think that part of it is realizing how much junk you have (see blog post "the stuff of life") and the other is completely changing everything in your environment.

All of this to say, I have continued my reading and somewhat doing, we just don't have internet at the house yet. So here I am at the local coffee joint (courtesy of my sweet, understanding husband) with my decaf-iced americano, bible in hand, computer on my lap, ready to write. Here is a brief summary of my ponderings over the last 3 days:

Day 3: Matt 5:21-26 Rebuilding
This passage is about the heart. Jesus says that the law commands not to murder, but unwarranted anger and name-calling is judged just as harshly by the Father. It's so serious that He commands this: when you bring your gift to the altar and remember that your brother has something against you, to leave your gift and be reconciled. It's interesting to understand the scripture as remember that someone "has something against you." Not you are angry at someone else, but someone has been wronged by you. I feel like that is really hard to discern sometimes. It made me stop and think through the people in my life I may have wronged recently. To bring in the moving analogy (because that's what i was doing ALL DAY), I realized how swiftly you can "undo " a home. Take pictures off of walls, put books in a box, clear out cabinets... But it takes a considerably longer amount of time to rebuild. It takes thought, planning, organization, shelf liners (GRRR), and so on. It's the same with our relationships. In the past, my tone or just one angry word have hurt, damaged, and even ruined a relationship. It takes a second. To build that back up takes a long time and lots of hard work and forethought. I asked the Lord to remind me of people in my life that I need to reconcile with and one came to mind. I followed up and it was a joy. Thank you, Jesus for reconciling me to the Father!

Day 4: Matt 5:27-42 Let your Yes be Yes
Subjects in this passage: Adultery, Lust, Divorce, Breaking promises. Check, check, check, hmmmm. I'm a notorious plan and promise maker. I love to make plans, dream big, and semi-commit. I think I do it without even realizing it most of the time. I inherited the dreaming side from my Daddy. We can talk big about dreams all day and know that it probably won't happen, but it sure is fun to think about. It drives my sweet Mom nuts. When it becomes wrong for me is when my people-pleasing tendencies seep out and I commit to something that I haven't truly thought through. Here are 2 examples in the last 24 hours: Oh man. I told my dear friend Ari, that Stella and I would make it to Missional Community and I would bring ground beef. I realized while I was Target yesterday going in circles looking for those dadgum shelf liners while Stella was crying that it probably wasn't realistic for us to make it. She was extremely gracious with me. Then, I had told another friend, Julie that Stella and I could drop in on her daughter's going away party at 5pm. I took a necessary pregnant nap from 3-5 and woke up completely disoriented and unsure what to put on the box-filled table for dinner. She was gracious with me as well. This is really humbling to write, but it's such a good reminder to really discern what is best to commit myself to and what isn't. Sure, plans get cancelled, but if it becomes habitual nature it's not a great representation of our always faithful, completely true His promises Lord. Jesus says in verse 37 "But let your 'yes' be 'yes' and your 'no' be no'. For whatever is more than these is from the evil one."

Day 5: Matt 5:38-48 Common Grace
I urge you to go read all of these passages for yourself. Especially this one. To me, it is the epitome of amazing grace. Just the incomprehensible love of Jesus that I feel as if it will take me an eternity to wrap my mind around. In summary, Jesus says to turn your cheek when someone hits you, give them more when they steal from you, go an extra mile when they ask for one, love your enemies. Giving what others don't deserve, because your Father does. More on this tomorrow...